| We can regard the same things in completely different ways. Everyone remembers the joke about an optimist, whose glass was half full and bedbugs smelled of cognac, and a pessimist, whose glass was half-empty and cognac stank of bedbugs. It is more pleasant to be an optimistic person, of course. But how?
Having decided to “overvalue values”, I realized that there is great sense in the phrase “Whatever happens, happens for the best”. It can be proved “logically” in almost any situation.
We need to keep in mind that nearly all of us are unavoidably egocentric and put one’s appreciated self in the very centre of the world’ whirlpool. Therefore, what we receive is a distorted picture of the world – things that are close to us look bigger, and we ourselves are so big that almost hide the horizon. Taking into account that the world is full of coincidences and we have some sort of free will, we cannot realize all possible trajectories in space/time. Active pessimism is based on two foundations: regret that, having made a choice, we have missed so many other opportunities, and fear that the choice we have made will lead to the loss of other possibilities. Anything that does not kill us makes us stronger. We are evaluated, and we don’t like that. I asked for a loan in a bank; the bank has been thinking for three weeks, although they promised to make a decision within five working days. I get nervous and angry – I know that I can pay the loan off.
How do I know? I completed the form honestly and the bank, by using a scoring programme, defines how risky it is to lend me money. Maybe in the social or professional group I belong to there is a high probability of negative events and the bank’s refusal will save me from having to pay huge debts? It is taking so long because they are checking if I have had any problems with law. This is how they lower risks and the bank can offer a lower annual interest rate. So, I should not worry, I should not be nervous or angry, I should be delighted to know how much the bank has been caring about me for the whole three weeks. Do you think I am being ironic? No way. This is just a more pleasant way to think about it.
When I try to get a new job my application form lies on someone’s table for three months, although I know from my friends that they have decided to take me. Are they simply torturing me, procrastinating senselessly? Even when there’s a shortage of employees in the company? No, they care about me. It is a big company and processes move slowly. If I enroll, I must be prepared to see the results of my actions and their evaluation months or even years later. If I cannot put up with a three-month-long waiting time for their decision, further torments will be intolerable. Again, they are taking care of me: and it is bad for me to have a job that does not suit me, isn’t it?Your bosses do not keep their promises? You should not take offence.
Really. Consider the following experiment. Ten similar companies in similar conditions begin to fight for a market niche, while there’s a place for one of them only. How does a CEO improve the chances for his company to succeed?It is extremely important to believe in success and make your team believe in it.If we say that we are sure we will win, the odds will turn out to be much higher than the mathematical 10%. But if we “honestly” admit that our chance is 10%, it will at once decrease our change to something around 0. So, the management has to believe in victory and promise success, in order to raise their chance for success to a maximum level. Here is an example from history.
Steve Ballmer, the present CEO of Microsoft, was enthusiastically selling Microsoft Windows versions 1 and 2.He promised his customers the most advanced operation system. In fact, the product was bad, and the purchase could hardly be called a good bargain. In reality, the customers invested in their own better future, which came with the version 3.1. And this better future was able to materialize thanks to the “dishonest” seller and “irrational” buyers of the first and second versions. I think they were glad to think they were making the world a bit better.
If someone goes on and on about silly or commonplace things you should not complain. It is better to try and understand why they are doing so. Sometimes they are just demonstrating their attitude to certain things and want to infect you with it. Indifference and denial rarely bring you anything but a too high self-esteem. I once came up with a good exercise – to learn how to find humor in any situation. When you have learnt to laugh at things, you feel you understand the world better, and it becomes warmer. |
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